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Be sure to watch this segment live on FITM tomorrow, Monday, November 20th @ 8:15a.m.
Background: Child Molestation, Child Pornography, Substance Abuse, Child Abuse, and School Shootings are just a few of the calamities facing our children in this generation. This is not to suggest that such tragedies are anything new or epidemic in numbers, but rather serve as reminders to the necessity of adult protection of our youth. Many suggest that the world today is different and more dangerous than previous times, while others suggest that sensationalism has created unnecessary fear. There is likely truth in both perspectives as determined by recent statistics. However, over the past 15 years, western civilization has changed. The divorce rate has increased; there are more dual income families than ever before increasing the amount of Latchkey Children; a greater emphasis has been placed on trying to give children and adolescents greater autonomy; television and music has become more “real” and at times inappropriate for children and adolescents; and the computer age has allowed for more potential of unsupervised activities. Taken together, there has been an increase in venues children and adolescents have been exposed to which can at times negatively effect their psyche and behavior if adults do not protect them when need be.
Reality television, or what I refer to a “Shame Tv” has also sent inappropriate messages to children and adolescents. Whether the content has to do with “makeovers”, plastic surgery, fighting over winning a date, to high risk behaviors, children and adolescents internalize these messages which can lead to self concerns about body image, popularity, sexuality, and self-esteem. In addition, these shows can influence overstimulation and lead to impulsivity. As a result, responsible adults need to protect their children from such negative influences.
Furthermore, seriously disturbed individuals will take advantage of these changes and prey on the vulnerability of children. An example of this type of behavior are the perpetrators who take advantage of adolescents on the popular “My Space” website where we have heard the many horror stories of children being propositioned by adults and then led into harms way. Antisocial personality types look for opportunities of poor adult supervision.
In addition, due to these recent developments, previous acts that had been previously hidden, such as child molestation from trusted others in the past, have been revealed to the public creating even more concern and also documenting that protecting children is both presently and historically necessary.
One significant high risk youth population are the "Latchkey Children”, a group that has been a well documented in the last 15 years with connections between this population and increased drug, alcohol, emotional, and behavior problems. In addition, these children become more susceptible to become victims of external harm due to the absence of caring adult supervision. Though most parents have the best intentions for their children, such real societal changes have influenced parents to make decisions perhaps differently than their parents did when they were children.
Obviously, a parent cannot be physically connected to their child 24/7, but needs to be consistently aware of the child's general whereabouts and psychological and physical conditions. This extends into knowing who and where their child is residing with and having assurance that the situation is “safe”. This is a required parental position whether the parent is a full time professional or full time homemaker. Many working parents know where their children are while still in the office and effectively parent nevertheless. Well researched after-school or child care programs, sports teams, and various clubs are all ways that working parents can extend their protective and caring responsibilities while also putting bread on the table. It is more a matter of frame of mind than mere physical presence.
Research suggests that children who have protective and invested parents tend to be healthier and happier for they feel protected, and in reality, are better protected. . The parent who blends this protective love with an appreciation of healthy and safe individuation produce children who tend to be psychologically healthy and academically and socially successful. This then leads to high self esteem and paves the road for a healthy shift into adulthood.
Children do not have the developmental capacity to fully protect themselves until they reach late adolescence (18 years of age). This is not to suggest that as children and adolescents demonstrate maturity that parents cannot award greater responsibility, but this does not dismiss the parental position of supreme protector. An appropriate metaphor might be the responsible adolescent serving as the Chief Executive Officer and the Parent, the Board of Directors. If the adolescent/CEO is "doing a good job", the Board rewards the achievement. However, if the adolescent/CEO is "struggling", the Board steps in a helps the CEO navigate the operation to protect the interests of all.
Full Screen:
1. Parental protection is essential and does not end until adolescence ends.
2. Protection entails knowledge of both the emotional and physical states of the child.
3. Supervision is always necessary yet changes based on degree of earned responsibility.
4. Protection, guidance, and encouraged "safe" individuation leads to the healthiest level of development.
Dr. Keith Kanner
Show Host
Your Family Matters
Fox6 News - San Diego
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About drkanner
Dr. Kanner is a Licensed Clinical Child, Adolescent, and Adult Psychologist and Psychoanalyst with a full time private practice in Rancho Santa Fe, California. He is also an Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychiatry in the School of Medicine at U.C. San Diego and a Clinical Instructor and Supervisor at the San Diego Psychoanalytic Society and Institute. Recently, he has become the Director of Clinical Counseling for La Jolla Country Day School and has been named to the National Board of Directors for KidsKorps, USA. He continues as a Consultant for many public and private schools in San Diego and has also received distinguished teaching awards over the past seven years. He is a published author and a sought after speaker on topics pertaining to childhood, adolescence, and parenthood. He is also presently writing a book for Fox based on his show, Your Family Matters.
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