After learning about and reporting upon the Chelsea King
tragedy, I am once again left heartbroken for the friends and family of a
bright and happy teenager who was minding her own business while on a run in
her own neighborhood. The furthest
thing on her mind would be a seriously disturbed predator waiting to harm her
in broad daylight. But, as
lightening sometimes strikes, it did that day when Chelsea was attacked and her
and her family’s life is changed forever. As a father and a Clinician, I
immediately become concerned for the outcome of Chelsea’s survivors, but also
protective of children and teenagers who have their futures ahead of them and
how maybe there is something we can learn from this horrible story.
Ironically ,it
seems that the loss of a life often motivates a movement to the saving of
others. A combination of the “this
could happen to me or my kids” , coupled with large public outcry is the formula that leads to legislation
and reform that helps to make the world a safer place. But, to make things even more
complicated are that tragedies such as what happened to Chelsea King and her
family remain more uncommon than common so we do not want to create hysteria
while trying to protect and save lives. But, there is plenty that we can do to ensure better safety.
Many have spoken of a "Chelsea Law" over the past
few days which might seek to either , shackle, microchip or even
"castrate" any person convicted of child molestation, in
hopes of deterring such individuals from thinking of hurting children
let alone repeating crimes involving minors. This
might work for many of the
individuals who might have committed such crimes, or think about trying it,
which is a good thing, but
the individuals who repeatedly hurt, or try to hurt children after
prison or after some sort of “rehabilitation” are of a different breed than the
everyday
criminal. These ones are true
sociopaths who care about nothing but themselves no matter what and do not
learn their lessons for they do not feel any remorse for what they have done or
will do. In other words, they like what they do and seem content with their actions despite the obvious suffering of others. Most people are not like
this or could never even think this way. Therefore, any new laws or statutes might detour some,
but not all, and we therefore have to think beyond the law of how to protect
our children from harm based on what we teach them at home and in school.
This may seem like we are getting back to the basics, but
basics tend to work irrespective of generational or societal shifts. They are ageless. Here they are, we all know them, and we
all should review them with our kids after this week in San Diego:
1.
Don’t talk to strangers, especially if they seem either too
nice or too strange
2.
It is always safer to travel in 2’s than alone
3.
Teach your kids how to scream for help
4.
Know where your kids are all the time
5.
Teach your kids that although most people are
generally good, there are such things as “bad guys” and we all need to stay
away from them
6.
Self defense classes are great for kids. They help them learn both
self-responsibility but also how to hit someone in the nose if need be
7.
Be there to talk and support your kids about
their feelings about what happened to Chelsea and her family. Emphasize that we
learn from tragedy, grow from pain, and that you as their parent, will always
protect them, which includes keeping a watchful eye on them and is why you call
their cell phones or text message them all of the time.
Perhaps we could call these “Chelsea’s Law”. From
everything I have learned about
her, these would have been advocated by her. As in this case, there
will be forever "what ifs", but we need to focus on "what to do", to try to prevent a next
time.
