|
|
Be sure to watch Dr. Kanner discuss this segment live this Monday, November 23rd @ 8:20am on San Diego 6 News In The Morning.
Background:
"Attitude is everything". We have all heard this before, but is it
true? Research teaches us that people with a generally positive
attitude towards life tend to fair better in all major aspects of their
lives from relationships to work and even in terms of financial
success. In fact, positive people tend to even live longer whether or
not they are single or married. But, why are some people just more
"naturally" optimistic than others. Is there really such as thing as a
"happy gene", or does it have more to do with how a person manages
stress and conflict? Of course, the answer is both. Genetics really
do determine something that we call "temperament", or that inborn
personality that we all see with our kids when they come into our
lives. In fact, those of us with more than one child also realize that
each child has a different personality and this has nothing to do with
parenting. So, hard wiring does play a significant role in whether a
person naturally sees the glass half empty or half full. But, can that
imprint be somehow modified if you did not happen to inherit that
smiling jean? Let's take a look.
It's the old nature versus nurture debate and the conclusion is the
same. Yes, to a certain extent, if we try hard enough, we can make a
difference. Think of heart disease. If an individual has a family
history of heart disease, chances are, they will die from a heart
attack. But, if that same person takes care of their diet, exercise,
and attitude, life is frequently extended from what would have
otherwise been predicted. Psychological predispositions are also real
and how one chooses to manage their inside and outside worlds also has
an effect on their degree of managing the mental side of life. Here is
where parenting can really make a difference. Aside from teaching our
children about the world and how to better endue and enjoy, a parent's
attitude about life spills over onto their children. We have all seen
this in the observations of our friends. Happy people tend to produce
happy kids, and negative people tend to produce negative kids
irrespective of having happy or not happy genetics. This is good news
and bad news. The good news is that as parents, we can really make a
difference in our child's happiness. The bad news, is that our
attitude can also cause more hardship on our children if we let it.
Therefore, the objective for any parenting adult is twofold: taking
charge of your own destiny and trying to better teach your child the
most beneficial ways to manage and enjoy life. As my friend and
colleague, John Assaraf are I are busy outlining, pondering, and
writing our first book together, My Father The Jewish Mother, much
about attitude has to do with "choice". We all have challenges,
crises, and hard times, but each person also has aspects of his or her
life where they need to be thankful and let that be the guiding light.
This is not to live in a state of denial of hard times and hardships,
which just would not be an intelligent choice, but more how to both
take tough times in stride and hold onto the aspects of life that bring
us pleasure and happiness. For some, it is having the gift of healthy
children; for others,it might be being in love. The point regardless,
is to always be thankful for something that you have.
Attitude may be seen as the most valuable coping mechanism. A positive
attitude reduces stress, increases thinking, and enhances judgment. It
also increases friendships and social affiliation. Try this for a
day. Everywhere you go, smile and say hi to everyone you come into
contact with. Whether this is towards someone you know, or even a
complete stranger. The response you will receive will likely be
positive and you will feel better. Behind your smile is a conscious
sense of "thankfulness" for things you have in your life that help you
stay strong when your have to deal with less than fortunate realities
that we all endure. For me, it's always my three healthy and beautiful
kids who I thank G-- for everyday.
Once a individual practices being positive, while at the same time
withstanding the common ups and downs of everyday life, attitude can
change, but it takes time and practice. Blending positive thinking
with staying focused and invested in one's life is the key to living a
happy and healthy life and passing that down to your children may be
the best gift you can give them.
Key Points:
1. Being thankful for what you do have, elevates mood and productivity
2. People like being around positive people
3. Attitude is both genetic and learned
4. Children can inherit your attitude
5. A positive attitude is a healthy coping mechanism
6. Try smiling and say hello to everyone for a day
Happy Thanksgiving.
Follow Dr. Kanner both on our website here at San Diego6.com and at www.kanner.tv
|
Dr. Keith Kanner/ Morning Show HostYour Family Matters
San Diego 6 News In The Morning
San Diego Living Show
2008 Winner: IMedia Parenting Award for Television - Disney, Inc.
2009 Winner: Man Of The Year In Medicine & Healthcare - ABA
Host/Extra Life Changers - EXTRA TV
Anchor/Host: Dr Kanner & Kompany - WSRadio-San Diego
XETV l Bay City Television, Inc.
8253 Ronson Road, San Diego, CA 92111
(619) 261-2346
|
Anonymous comments are disabled
About drkanner
Dr. Kanner is a Licensed Clinical Child, Adolescent, and Adult Psychologist and Psychoanalyst with a full time private practice in Rancho Santa Fe, California. He is also an Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychiatry in the School of Medicine at U.C. San Diego and a Clinical Instructor and Supervisor at the San Diego Psychoanalytic Society and Institute. Recently, he has become the Director of Clinical Counseling for La Jolla Country Day School and has been named to the National Board of Directors for KidsKorps, USA. He continues as a Consultant for many public and private schools in San Diego and has also received distinguished teaching awards over the past seven years. He is a published author and a sought after speaker on topics pertaining to childhood, adolescence, and parenthood. He is also presently writing a book for Fox based on his show, Your Family Matters.
|
|
