Watch Dr. Kanner discuss this segment live this Monday, November 10th @ 8:20am on San Diego 6 News In The Morning.
Background: Halloween is the true kick off of the holiday season for both children and adolescents alike. With Thanksgiving, and the holiday season just around the corner, keeping kids focused on schoolwork, and even after-school activities, becomes challenging to all parents due to intense excitement and joy. Typically, we see regressions in each and every household and classroom as both parents and teachers alike deal with more acting out, less than normal attention, and less quality work being produced by the student.
Most schools are aware of this phenomenon and balance continuing to teach with fun activities designed to both help the children stay focused on their work but also look forward to the holidays. Holiday plays, carnivals, parades, and even dances help children and adolescents look ahead to the holidays but also are balanced with scheduled time for school and home work.
At home however, most parents end up feeling intensified frustration and try to set greater limits to keep their children on track and from losing their academic edge. Battles then commonly emerge and anger between parents and children heighten leading to a lose lose situation for all.
In other words, limits alone will not do the trick! Parents need to take some advice from how most schools handle the holiday condition. In other words, balancing keeping children accountable for their school work, needs to be balanced with some fun holiday planning and even some activities. Factoring both empathy for having to stick to work at an exciting time also helps ease tension as well as engaging the child in the plans for the holiday gives them something to look forward to.
The younger the child, the more difficult it is for them to manage the delay of gratification. For example, with children under the age of 5, waiting a month or so for Christmas feels like a lifetime, and the savvy parent may decide to give them a few little pre-holiday gifts to help them whether the waiting period. Older children, on the other hand, have the capacity to wait, but are not happy about it, and talking with them about the frustration may be enough to help them remain focused and look ahead to the holiday. Couple the talk with engaging them in the planning process for the holidays often times calms them down enough to get their work done and not fall behind.
1. Regression is normal in children during the holiday season.
2. Setting limits is not enough.
3. Balancing sticking to the schedule with some fun planning is the answer.
4. Consider giving small gifts to younger children to help them manage the delay of gratification.

Dr. Keith Kanner l Morning Show Host
Your Family Matters
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